Father's Day

Spent the day with my dad and mom at their house. We swam, planted a tree for Grandma and Ned and ate dad's BBQ chicken and mom's salad. 

Ron went up to Nevada City to watch Lance Armstrong (his father's day treat). 

Didn't get to see Vicki and Shaan today but left a message for them.

Thank you Matt Menard for calling my dad. He was really moved by that. 

Shaan, you just have to watch one of those videos of your Dada dancing with you to know how much he loved you. You will always have that. We all miss him so much and can't begin to describe the ache in our hearts. It was great to be with you at the Boardwalk last week and we look forward to more fun with you this summer.

A Meal for Grandma

Today we are joining Mom, Uncle Jack, cousins and Grandma's group, "The Banana Splits" at the Creamery in Castro Valley. 

This is a picture of Ned, Vicki and Shaan having a meal with Grandma at Favorite Indian Restaurant in Hayward. 

This was a place that I got a chance to go to both with Grandma and with Ned. Of course, what is great is the "all you can eat" lunch buffet.

Ned Fam, Friends and Fans

Overall, the weekend was really special and Ned would have loved it. 

Saturday I got a surprise visit from Alisa Hagerty and her boyfriend Alex. She drove over to Oakland from Livermore to just give a hug on Ned's birthday. She had been planning on going up to Cherry Lake but due to the weather reports had to change her plans. So I got to see her!

Alisa flew with Ned at SkyWest and they were great friends. She has shared a couple of her stories with me and I hope to publish an edited version of them on this blog.  It was wonderful to see her and make plans for future gatherings. 

That night, two thirds of my daughter's band, Poison Apple Pie, played at the 20th anniversary for the MOCHA Museum of Children's Art in Oakland. Earlier that day, my budding artist son and I went to the open studios for the Pro Arts Gallery and met cool community artists.

On Sunday, the kids and I picked up Mom at Jack London Square train station. She made the ride from San Jose to Oakland.  We drove to Elk Grove and at the house on Laguna Oaks, we played in the pool, ate cherries (well some people picked them from the tree behind the pool) and made and watched the movie, "Moments with Ned," and cried. Thais, Ryan, Maya and Zoe came over from two doors down. Mom, Chandra came too.

Mehal fired up the grill and cooked the delicious Tandoori chicken that Vicki and Sweetie prepared along with green salad, corn salad and mashed potatoes and for some of us, Sierra Nevada Pale Ales.

Later on , Shaan blew out the candles on the Superman cake for "Dada" that I made with help from Betty and Duncan (Crocker and Hines that is).

Most of the Cherry Lake crew came back to share some dinner and brew at the house and will have many stories to tell us about their adventure in the wilderness in honor of Ned in what will be an ongoing tradition.

I have been assured that the Ned Snyder Lives Blog has at least a handful of readers and so this blog will continue. (The readers can become writers too. Hint. Hint. Just email me.) Thank you for reading.

We missed you Nancy, Dave, Nicole and Dad and others.

Thank you everyone for all the love. 

Ned Lives!

P.S. I am moderating the comments to this blog so if your comment doesn't appear right away, don't worry. I'm weeding out the horribly nasty reactionaries who have attacked my blogs with their vile and hate.

Ned's 40th Birthday

Dear Ned, 

We miss you so much, especially today when it would have been nice to be celebrating with all your friends and family with you there laughing and joking. Instead we are getting together anyways without you. We'll cook, eat cake and the crew that went up to Cherry Lake - Ron, Logan, Vince, Dan R., Dan H., Mike, Jenny and Jeff, (I think that is it?) will come back to tell us about the beauty of that place where you left us here on Earth. 

The grief is still raw. I told Diane at Bakesale Betty's this morning about you and broke into tears. She asked me if Uhuru was having a booth at the Temescal Streetfair and I told her that today was your 40th. She gave me a free coffee ;) and told me about losing her brother David. Everyone has a story to share. But everyone's story is the central one to them.

You will always be a part of my life long after you have been gone. I regret not seeing you more and having more conversations and laughs. I regret not being able to share in raising our kids together. You have been so much a part of our lives - the birthday parties and holidays. I have the video of the last time that we saw you and you took each of us up in the plane.

You are so special to us and will be forever in our hearts. I know it sounds trite, but there is no other way to say it. Thanks for the memories. Thanks for the movies. We will dream big dreams for you. 

Love, 

Wendy and all of us

Spending Time with My Brother

I have no idea if anyone reads these blog posts anymore. My love for my brother hasn't diminished at all just because I haven't been posting. In fact, Ned has taught me so much. With his life and because of his death, I can see clearly that he was someone who was present in life. 

I'm not saying that this is the quality that everyone should have. I do believe that some people are on this earth to analyze the past and inform us of the recent past history. Some people are on this earth to prepare us for the future. Others help remind us to be present in our everyday lives with our children, with our spouses, friends and parents.  That was Ned. 

I have had the privilege of having Ned's video camera and almost of dozen UNLABELED video tapes to upload to my Macbook (second one, the first one was stolen by colonized African people in the Western Addition housing projects in San Fran, that elitist, white nationalist town that has black people living in terrible conditions. They smashed through my window the beginning of March during the course of 20 minutes. They must have needed the cash pretty desparately). 

Anyhow, these tapes were UNLABELED. So much footage of Shaan, of family. But Ned (we are so alike) never took the time to actually name what he was recording. 

I am so grateful for his recordings. On my grandma's birthday, we gathered together to watch his footage of Grandma with one month old Shaan in her lap. She sort of knew, sort of didn't know, that she was being recorded. He was sly. He was playing with her and she knew it. They were tight, Ned and Grandma. I miss both of them and they have taught me so much. 

Ok, there are about six more tapes to go. Don't worry, I'll upload some of it to YouTube for public viewing. I don't think Ned would mind. It is so that we can spend more time with you, bro. Love you!

Hi Ned

I just wanted to write you a few words. You are in my thoughts every day. I carry your smile, your gait, your gut with me as I walk through the world. I sometimes wear your clothes in public :)

(I'll try not to do that so much since I look goofy.) I'm wearing your Norcal sweatshirt right now and I wear that proudly. The baggy blue velour pants maybe I should give a rest. 

I see your face in my furrowed brow when I look in the mirror. I see you in the airplanes in the sky. I see you in the clouds. I see you in the sidewalk cracks. Ok, maybe not. I hear you in the silly pop songs from the 70's, 80's and 90's.  I see you the childhood rooms that still lurk in my mind. The red and black furniture. The wine corks glued on the door of the back bedroom to keep the sounds out (you gave up two thirds of the way!)  On the roof at the house. In the canyon. In the depths of the pool. You are everywhere. I see you!

The Grief Doesn't Stop But the Love for Life Continues

Too much is going on for words to be adequate. So much sorrow and loss.  No memorial for grandma doesn't feel right but that's what she said she wanted and the words were taken literally.

She was so upset about losing her grandson. "Why didn't I go first?," was what I think she said. It didn't seem fair. Here she was ready to go and her grandson was in the prime of his life and has this terrible accident. Of course, we make the best plans but we can't predict the winds, mother nature and what will come down. 

My grandma's birthday is Monday, May 31st and Ned's 40th birthday will be on Sunday, June 7th, even though he didn't make it there. Both days we'll do something special that they would have appreciated. We'll do it for ourselves and we'll also do it for them. So, depending on what you believe, all bases will be covered.